The World Thru My Eyes - I speak my mind and man does it like to talk.
Published on August 12, 2007 By CharlesCS In Blogging
As much as I like being around Joeuser.com debating about the many topics from politics to current events to the latest in computers, I feel I will have to give up replying and/or posting articles. For as far back as I can remember I have always had trouble trying to get people to understand anything I was talking about. You would almost think I was talking a different language. I have had my theories as to why; maybe they just didn’t see the issue any other way (2+2=4), maybe they just didn’t want to see it any other way (2+2=5 and I don’t care) or maybe I really was confused and actually believed I was talking clearly (2+2=4, I think? Of course, umm, am I sure?). In the end it didn’t really matter, it was bad enough people thought I was weird, even the nomads at school kept their distance. It was like being ugly as a monster, smelly as a skunk and just simply un-cool to be around all at the same time. The fact that I was very shy and did not take rejection to well didn’t make it any easier. Nothing worse than having to live with that you hate most in life, in my case, loneliness.

Joeuser.com was the second site I had found where I could express myself without having to show my face and could probably find people like me. 31 years old, about 3 years on JU and I don’t even have anyone’s email on this site or call them like some due here that I have read. It seems that my natural human repellent is not immune to cyberspace. I’m just as bad online as I am in real life. The worst part is that I still don’t understand why things are this way and it worries me a lot. It makes me feel that no matter how sure I think I am it’s not true, everyone else may be right about me. I admit I can come across as annoying sometimes, I can’t help but trying to be a bit humoristic about some things cause I tend to think that making people laugh or smile can lighten the mood a bit in an otherwise tension filled discussion. I’ve always believed that talking, writing or doing anything at all while being upset or mad may cause one to say, write or do something one was not intending to say, write or do. Now a days I seem to have more doubts about what I think is the right thing to do, what’s good or my own faith. I don’t know what to believe in anymore.

In the end I only have myself to blame. I chose to be this way and have not been able to change in a way that would have made things better for me. I have failed in accepting myself for what I am and caring less about what people think about me. I guess in my heart it’s just too important to me to know what everyone thinks about me. I guess being ignored, left out, pushed aside or just plain invisible is too painful for me. But, I have 2 children who depend on me and I cannot let these emotions affect their lives and so I must forget about myself and my feelings and work as hard as I have too to make sure my children have the necessities in life to survive. I can only pray they don’t worry so much about these things as I do. But I can’t help thinking that if they chose the path of honesty (which I would rather they do) and doing the right thing that they may suffer as much if not more than I have. I guess so long as they can live with knowing they did something good and accept the consequences of their actions, be them good or bad, then maybe they will do better in life that I have. I wish I didn’t expect so much of other people, I wish I could just accept that no good deed goes unpunished, but it would seem that I’m only fooling myself every time I thought appreciation would follow a good deed. A simple thank you, a nod of the head, even a look that said “I noticed”. I guess as I said before, I just care too much.

Well, this kind of mentality apparently was not meant to be shared with the rest of the world and so I have decided to steer clear of posting or replying online anymore. I don’t wish to continue to be seen the opposite of what I intend to express. It’s too painful to be seen as a disrespectful to women or a jerk when I know I’m not, or trying to be insulting when I’m not trying to be. I will stick to basic things such as looking for answers on technical stuff or simply I can’t do it myself questions.

I’m hoping this is not a permanent goodbye, but I will have to deal with the possibility. I think Joeuser.com and all the related sites are great sites with a lot of interesting people in them, some a bit unusual, others kinda crazy and a lot of very smart and talented people. I will stick around and enjoy the benefits of some of the related sites such as Wincustomize.com and even look around JU from time to time to see who’s saying what and who’s disagreeing with it. I’m sorry to all those I have offended when I did not mean to. Have fun and keep up the fun on this site. I hope to talk to everyone someday again. This will be my last article and maybe my last replies if I see it worth replying. Thanks and see you all around.

Comments
on Aug 12, 2007
Your ability to express yourself will never outweigh other's ability to misunderstand you. It's hard to find an article around here that has a lot of replies that doesn't have a misunderstanding or two thrown in.
on Aug 12, 2007
Dude, you've got to get a thicker skin. I'm sorry to see you go, but I'm not gonna kiss your rump to try to talk you into staying. Yeah, you got a lot of crap directed at you, but so does anyone who's been here any length of time (just ask Jythier...lol!).

Ah, well, happy trails, I guess.
on Aug 12, 2007
Ah Charles I am one of the offenders that have not expressed enough thanks to you for your replies and consistent well thought out articles, My bad.

I for one will miss your hard working ever patriotic ass.

MM try to remember to make a friend you have to be a friend. You have to express interest in taking the next step with people that interest you as I have done with several people here, there is nothing to it, you simply state you would like to explore a private meeting of the minds in a less public forum, like e-mail, that usually leads to Phone exchanges, possibly friendship.
on Aug 12, 2007
If your blogging to make friends you need to make the effort like MM says. There’s nothing personal in your writing. Try writing more playful, trivial material, like if you have a good day or a bad day write about it. Talk about your kids, kids are writing material fountains and people will relate to that more than current events.

Me I come here to argue and to challenge my own perceptions to see how they hold up under critical review, even taking the opposing view for the hell of it sometimes. So I would prefer that responders aren’t my friends and don’t care if they hurt my feelings. I got enough friends right now anyway.

I’d think twice about leaving, blogging as you’ve found out can sure teach you how many ways words can be misunderstood. And even if you don’t make friends, learning how to choose your words carefully when you write will spill over to other social skills. It may even be the only help for foot in mouth disease.
on Aug 12, 2007
Wait there was an article about pussy and I missed it. I must be getting old.

on Aug 12, 2007
Ok I see, it was cleverly hidden in an article about impregnating lesbians.

Whew, I still got it.
on Aug 12, 2007
Perhaps honesty really isn't the best policy.

Its the only Policy - any other way is, in the long term, painfull to say the least.

Now a days I seem to have more doubts about what I think is the right thing to do, what’s good or my own faith. I don’t know what to believe in anymore

If your having doubts just because someone/people - whatever - disagree with you - forget it. We are all our own people, dont search for a particular view just because others may agree, pointless. I've lost count the number of times I have disagreed or "they" have disagreed or just been plain wrong on this and other Sites - its life. Utopia only exists in the minds of extreme Radicals who want to spend their lives living in a safe orderly predictable, dreamworld, and life is not like that, never will be.

it would seem that I’m only fooling myself every time I thought appreciation would follow a good deed

Frankly, yes - you'll get some of course, but most times not, its life, same for all of us. Just be content you "did the right thing", thats the route to self respect, not pats on the back from others, and it dont come cheap.

But now you realised that, delete the Article or make it private, and get your backside back in here ....
on Aug 12, 2007
Maybe you should just stop feeling sorry for yourself and, as already suggested, grow a thicker skin.

Good grief.
on Aug 12, 2007
LOL, even in a goodbye article I still get some misunderstanding.

Dude, you've got to get a thicker skin. I'm sorry to see you go, but I'm not gonna kiss your rump to try to talk you into staying.


I don't expect anyone to try to stop me. It's not what I was looking for. Thiker skin? Probably, but I don't get hurt over disagreements that easily. I understand people have differnt opinions and I don't try to take other peoples opinions away from them. My problem is that I try to say one thing and come across saying something else that completely throws off the entire conversation to the point that I end up reading the who argument just to figure out what the hell happened. I have seen misunderstandings before on this site, but so far not like mine. I have even gotten people mad at me here and not even sure why. But that's OK, I guess only I understand. I appreciate the reply though.

Ah Charles I am one of the offenders that have not expressed enough thanks to you for your replies and consistent well thought out articles, My bad.


That's OK, as I said I never really looked for direct thanks. As a matter of fact you have actually appreciated me on several occasions. I'm just happy with feeling part of the group, sometimes I feel Isolated and it kinda sucks. But that's just me.

MM try to remember to make a friend you have to be a friend. You have to express interest in taking the next step with people that interest you as I have done with several people here, there is nothing to it, you simply state you would like to explore a private meeting of the minds in a less public forum, like e-mail, that usually leads to Phone exchanges, possibly friendship.


I am a bit shy as I said and try to make friends in the sense of somewhere to hang out at. I don't expect to be best buds with everyone, I just wanna debate without creating enemies or people who hate me when I'm not trying to be hated. Thanks for posting.

If your blogging to make friends you need to make the effort like MM says. There’s nothing personal in your writing. Try writing more playful, trivial material, like if you have a good day or a bad day write about it. Talk about your kids, kids are writing material fountains and people will relate to that more than current events.


You are right, I could have done more than just politics and maybe some current events. I guess I got caught up in hanging in the politics section and wanting to learn more about politics since I have never voted and suddenly felt the urge to excercise my patriotism so that I could feel I have the right to complain. Guess I will expand my articles next time I try.

I’d think twice about leaving, blogging as you’ve found out can sure teach you how many ways words can be misunderstood. And even if you don’t make friends, learning how to choose your words carefully when you write will spill over to other social skills. It may even be the only help for foot in mouth disease.


Maybe your right. Maybe I should think twice. OK I'll bit, I will take a week off and think about it. Maybe I'll get inspired and learn to deal with this problem I have.

Good grief, a 'I'm leaving JU' drama over an argument about whether or not 'most men' find pussy attractive?


Hah!, Wouldn't have expected anything less from you LW. But believe me when I tell you this is not so much about the, as you put it, pussy argument. It merely became the one that filled the cup that made me realize I have a probelm. Kinda like 3 strikes you out kinda thing.

Oh quit feeling sorry for yourself, you've not been wronged here. You had a misunderstanding. So did I, when assuming the artificial insemination wasn't a covered procedure, and once I realized I had passed my own misunderstanding along to others, I copped to it, apologized, and moved on.


I don't see it the same. You see, your mistake was you made an assumption and then realized it. I, on the other hand was talking about one thing and came across sounding like something else and even when I tried to explain it further I was met with insults and being seen as offending others without even trying. But it's cool, I understand I have issues with expressing myself. I guess I see the world very differently, I tend to think I see the world for what it really is but also hope that sometimes the things one thinks just won't happen can happen. I try to have some hope in what can be seen almost as a hopeless world. But I get more negatives than I can count. I do admit to feel sorry for myself often but then if I don't who will.

But hey, if you're gonna split over something this retarded, all I can say is c'ya, wouldn't wanna be ya.


I'm definitely gonna miss ya too.   

If your having doubts just because someone/people - whatever - disagree with you - forget it.


Again, it's not about the disagreements, its about being misunderstood to the point of being seen, by many here, as a jerk.

Maybe you should just stop feeling sorry for yourself and, as already suggested, grow a thicker skin.

Good grief.


Maybe I should. But then I've been told many times that I can't help others without helping myself first. I have 2 choices, I either accept I'm the jerk some think I am or try to explain that I am not. I refuse to believe I'm a jerk and I seem to have trouble making others believe me. I just lost both choices. Guess will have to make a third one myself. We'll see a week from now I guess.
on Aug 13, 2007
Guess will have to make a third one myself. We'll see a week from now I guess.


Or you could just accept the fact that even if you are perfectly clear in your self-expression, some people are still going to think you're a jerk.


Thank you, you did me the favor of having to come up with option number 3. You know what? You're right (like you are most of the time). Think it's time for me to put my cares aside and only care about whats important to me, my family (if you know what I mean by not care). I dared to be bold in asking my boss for a promotion and I ended up going from the Mailroom to the Accounting Dept within a week. Perhaps I will use this new found boldness (not as in hairless) attitude and apply it to more of my life. I think it's time I left my fear behind and start dealing with life better.

As far as being the target of insults goes...hell, a day doesn't pass here that I'm not insulted in some way, shape, or form. I've been accused of wanting to have sex with my father's corpse and more recently, had my infertility mocked in the cruelest of ways. So what? The sun still shines on *my* fekkin' face each morning, and the opinions of JUsers doesn't change that.


You're right again. I have seen what some have said to you and though you do come across pretty strong right off the back sometimes, it doesn't merit this kind of backlash that you get. You gotta admit you can be a tough cookie when you wanna be. But that's what I like (not like like ) about ya. I actually look forward to your replies most of the time on here.

Do what you gotta do, Charles, I won't try to change your mind either, I just think it's a pretty dumb reason to leave JU after years of participation here.


I plan on taking a week off after this reply and see how I deal with this by then. Besides I have some training to do for my new job (you know, one of the ones Col green bean claims do not exist) and may not be able to say or due much on here for the next few days anyways. I'll think of it as a vacation for my mind. I'll be back in a few days, perhaps Saturday or Sunday. I'll decide by then. Later.
on Aug 13, 2007
Yet another "Goodbye" at JU. Enjoy your time away from JU, see you when you get back. ;~D
on Aug 13, 2007
And another JU goodbye. I always found your responses well-thought-out and very relevant. Good luck in all you do.
on Aug 13, 2007
oops wrong article..
on Aug 13, 2007
little-whipAugust 13, 2007 10:18:39


I plan on taking a week off after this reply and see how I deal with this by then.


I take time off from JU all the time, but it's usually just for a couple of days and no one really notices until I've been quiet for a week or more.


lying BITCH! I notice. whatta nose bleed!
on Aug 14, 2007

Sorry to see you go Charles.  I found most of your replies to be very insightful, and I did enjoy reading them.  Perhaps my lack of time here of late has made me miss the ones that appear to be misunderstood.

I hope you come back.