Chester Cheetah’s crime connection

Published on September 5, 2007 By CharlesCS In Current Events

In the latest development of over crowdedness in the US jail system, the police in DES MOINES, Iowa arrested a man who assaulted his father with none other than Chester Cheetah’s favorite weapon, a bag of Cheetos. Yes, this vicious man said to be on “methamphetamine at the time of the argument”, according to Fox News, went on a Cheetos rampage and threw the bag hitting his father in the face cutting him on the bridge of his nose.

It is my opinion that the father should sue Chester Cheetah and the Cheetos company for allowing such dangerous products to be sold at any store anywhere in the US. The next logical step would be to eliminate all Cheetos products from store and schools to avoid children repeating the same offence and hurting each other.

I demand Frito Lays to make a cotton like bag and softer Cheetos and to reexamine their whole product lineup for safety. This kind of danger should be removed immediately.
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Comments

Jythier

on Sep 05, 2007

Chester has been a blight on our society for too long. Cartoon characters used to sell unhealthy, fattening snacks have turned our children into the obese, roly-poly students they are. It's about time we banned marketing candy and snack food to children under the age of 18, and make it illegal to purchase the same without over 18 ID. No more TV advertising, either.

singrdave

on Sep 05, 2007

That orange powder should be labeled a chemical agent.

Jythier

on Sep 05, 2007

Chester Cheetah is actually a communist spy.

CharlesCS

on Sep 05, 2007

Next thing you'll know kids will be using Doritos as those weapons ninjas use that look like stars (forgot their names).

Well, maybe the ads with something in them like "please drink responsibly" except in this case it would be "may cause bleeding if lunged".

That orange powder should be labeled a chemical agent.

Great, the guy can be labeled a terrorist for use of chemicals.

Jythier

on Sep 05, 2007

I believe they're called ninja stars. Shuriken.

Dr Guy

on Sep 05, 2007

The Frito Bandito Strikes again.

CharlesCS

on Sep 05, 2007

I believe they're called ninja stars. Shuriken.

Thanks, I wasn't sure.

The Frito Bandito Strikes again.

Hehe, I like that. Maybe they'll lock him up in the same cell with the Hambugler and the Silly Rabbit from Trix.

Dr Guy

on Sep 05, 2007

the Silly Rabbit from Trix.

He was framed.

CharlesCS

on Sep 05, 2007

He was framed.

Actually, I think that was Roger The Rabbit. I forgot who framed Roger the Rabbit. I know it was a bad guy.

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