So I finally decided to search for my faith again. It has
been years since I have been to a catholic church for actual mass. Even in my
darkest hours I could not drag myself to a church. For years I have avoided
going because I just could not get into the whole mass thing, I kept falling
asleep and just felt like I was disrespecting the church and its goers. I never
have stopped believing in God, in my own way, though. I have always followed
the guidelines of the Catholic church even though there are things I am not too
comfortable with.
Anyways, my wife (or the mother of my children, if it makes
you feel more comfortable) has a co-worker who is a preacher at a local Baptist
church. He’s a very nice man, and his wife is very kind. My wife went to his
church once and found it interesting. For years she has been trying to get me
to go to church but because I never wanted to go, she never went. Well, for
many years now our relationship has been hitting bumps the size of Mount
Olympus and I felt maybe it was time to look for some help. I am not too fond
of doctors and such so I never bothered to look for professional help because I
have never been to comfortable with the idea of pouring my heart out to a guy/girl
who’s motivated by money. I figured what
better place than a religious person? They usually tend to lean towards
actually wanting to help others, tend to be somewhat much more moral that the average
not so religious person.
Well, after much consideration, and constant nagging (LOL)
my wife finally convinced me to give it a try. She had gone the week before for
the second time and this time she had her mom and her sister going. Well , I
figured since things had hit a Mount Olympus x10 bump recently and we had
decided to work on making things better, that maybe church could be a good step towards
making things better, especially since she was the one asking (for once).
Rather than going back to a catholic church, I decided to give this church a
try. So far, I have been there twice (missed a day in between, personal
reasons) and while the experience has been somewhat interesting (and very
different to what I am accustomed to at a catholic church), I feel pretty good
about it and look forward to more participation. So far the people have been
very nice and I even found some furniture for my apartment which I have been
lacking since I moved. The pastor recommended a couple to have our “couple’s
therapy” with. They happen to be from Puerto Rico and have been married for
about 35 years. I look forward to our talks and though am very nervous as to
what I may have to spill in order to make this work; I am willing to do what it
takes to work things out with my wife. I can only hope she feels the same, I
can’t read her mind and although she said she wants to do this, I won’t be
convinced till I see it happening and can only hope all goes well. But I know
that chances are things may get worse before they get better. But with my new
found faith, I have higher hopes it can work, but am prepared (somewhat) if
this goes nowhere. Only time, and God, will tell.